Meditation, to me, is the practice of becoming mindful. I learned one type of meditation, although there are many, and I don’t believe there is one type for everyone. I learned to use breathing to help bring myself into a state of awareness, even if only for a moment. Meditation can happen anywhere, it doesn’t have to be with others or alone, it can be driving, washing dishes or in a quiet space. I prefer to meditate in a quiet space, although sometimes with soft music, and to close my eyes. This allows me, for now, to shut out some of the distractions around me and helps me to begin to quiet my brain. I was taught to find an image that works for me, to help see my thoughts without judgement and then pass them along. Some people use a “TV screen”, or sitting on the edge of a river. For me, the one that seems to work best is imagining a river flowing toward a waterfall. I can hear the edge of the fall but can’t quite see it. I am sitting by the river, watching the water flowing toward the falls, and I hold in my hand a picture, like a snapshot representing the thought I am having. Sometimes I have to hold the picture for a few seconds before I can lay it in the river and watch it flow down towards the falls. This represents letting go for me, and helps me to observe my thoughts as they arise. I do not hold on to any of the photos, because the concept is to let go of the thoughts.
After some time, I stop having a photo in my hands and can just enjoy the river and the sound of the falls. Very quickly I am holding another picture, often the same pictures keep coming up. I believe for me, meditation is about realizing what is on my mind, what is really troubling me and then being able to stop holding judgement on myself. I am able to rest in my mind and begin to try to create patience with my mind, not fight against it. I become aware of sounds and smells, and my body and then rarely, I will feel a sense of oneness and peace. Most of the time, I am laying photos in the river and even though I don’t always feel oneness, I feel calmer and more at peace with who I am, the decisions I’ve made, and forgive myself. This may be early in the stages of awareness but it has really had an impact on how I think and feel. I find meditation in the morning, evenings and lunchtime help me to slow down. I can get very busy very fast and thrive on complicated situations, but this isn’t what I was made to do. I need to slow down and enjoy moments, as they are happening. I find I am much less hard on myself when I feel the moments.
I do not believe meditation is sitting on a fancy rug or pillow and sitting so still and quiet until I am uncomfortable. I believe sitting for long periods allows you to become aware of your bodily discomfort and begin to understand pain differently. However, the idea of meditating for “instagram”, (love Colleen’s term) isn’t my idea of meditation. I find the breath can help me come to awareness while driving or doing other tasks that are stressful, and I believe this is a type of meditation as well. Any kind of meditating to prove to others you are “meditating” may not achieve the sense of peace or oneness others may be seeking.